Casa de Esperanza
House of Hope
Cycles of Violence
CYCLE OF VIOLENCE
Stage I - Tension Building
Increased tension, knowing 'something' is going to happen. Verbal abuse begins to increase and stalking may occur. You may feel like you are "walking on egg shells" and that nothing you do is going to be right.
Stage II - Acute or Abusive Incident
It is important to recognize that in the cycle of domestic violence an acute or abusive incident does not mean physical. This can be emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual. Without intervention the violence will increase.
Stage III - "Honeymoon"
This phase has also been referred to as the 'Hearts and Flowers' phase. The abuser starts out by saying, "I'm sorry, I will never do it again", may cry, blames others, including the children, or blames drugs or alcohol. May use sex to make-up. As the relationship progresses the abuser says things like "Look what you made me do!"
This cycle has no definitive time frame. As the relationship goes on Stage III will begin to phase out and the cycle becomes "Tension to Abuse, Tension, Abuse... .
Domestic Violence is about Power and Control. An abuser uses many ways to keep control. These things include, amongst the physical abuse:
Intimidation: threats, making you afraid by using
gestures or looks, destroying your property, or displaying weapons, abusing pets...
Emotional Abuse: Put downs, making you feel bad about yourself, name calling, mind games, making you think you are crazy, making you feel guilty...
Isolation: Controlling who you see or talk to, isolation
from family, using jealousy to justify actions...
Minimizing, Denying, & Blaming: Trying to make you believe the abuse did not happen, saying the abuse did not happen or saying you caused it...
Using Children: Making you feel guilty about the children, using children to relay messages, telling you what a terrible parent you are...
Male Privilege: Treating you like a servant, being the one to define roles...
Economic Abuse: Preventing you from working or taking the money you earn, making you ask for money, not allowing you access to family income, giving you an allowance, ...
Coercion & Threats: Threatening to leave you, threats to hurt you, making you do illegal things, making you drop charges...There are many ways to make you feel you have no other choice.
Stage I - Tension Building
Increased tension, knowing 'something' is going to happen. Verbal abuse begins to increase and stalking may occur. You may feel like you are "walking on egg shells" and that nothing you do is going to be right.
Stage II - Acute or Abusive Incident
It is important to recognize that in the cycle of domestic violence an acute or abusive incident does not mean physical. This can be emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual. Without intervention the violence will increase.
Stage III - "Honeymoon"
This phase has also been referred to as the 'Hearts and Flowers' phase. The abuser starts out by saying, "I'm sorry, I will never do it again", may cry, blames others, including the children, or blames drugs or alcohol. May use sex to make-up. As the relationship progresses the abuser says things like "Look what you made me do!"
This cycle has no definitive time frame. As the relationship goes on Stage III will begin to phase out and the cycle becomes "Tension to Abuse, Tension, Abuse... .
POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL
Domestic Violence is about Power and Control. An abuser uses many ways to keep control. These things include, amongst the physical abuse:
Intimidation: threats, making you afraid by using
gestures or looks, destroying your property, or displaying weapons, abusing pets...
Emotional Abuse: Put downs, making you feel bad about yourself, name calling, mind games, making you think you are crazy, making you feel guilty...
Isolation: Controlling who you see or talk to, isolation
from family, using jealousy to justify actions...
Minimizing, Denying, & Blaming: Trying to make you believe the abuse did not happen, saying the abuse did not happen or saying you caused it...
Using Children: Making you feel guilty about the children, using children to relay messages, telling you what a terrible parent you are...
Male Privilege: Treating you like a servant, being the one to define roles...
Economic Abuse: Preventing you from working or taking the money you earn, making you ask for money, not allowing you access to family income, giving you an allowance, ...
Coercion & Threats: Threatening to leave you, threats to hurt you, making you do illegal things, making you drop charges...There are many ways to make you feel you have no other choice.
Casa de Esperanza
Crisis Line: (530) 674-2040
Crisis Line: (530) 674-2040
Business: (530) 674-5400
Colusa: 1-888-874-2040
Fax: (530) 674-3035
