Stop the Violence

Casa de Esperanza

House of Hope

Stop the Violence

Have you considered your role in Family Violence Prevention?

TOOLS: Take responsibility. Remember you are responsible for your own actions. No one can make you do anything you do not want to do, including committing family violence. Check yourself!

Take a Time Out: When you feel inside that things are getting out of hand, take a time out. Tell your partner that you will leave for an hour and return on time. Wait until tempers cool before trying to resolve any conflicts.

Observe the Fair Fight Rules: Through negotiation, mutual respect, honesty, and fairness, you can resolve conflicts without violence. Learn and apply the fair fight rules provided on this page.

There are consequences for the violence...

To You - possible jail/prison time, fines, and a criminal record.
To Your Children - increased delinquency as well as emotional and behavioral problems.
To Your Family - disruption of the family unit, loss of family privilege, and if convicted of even a misdemeanor this can result in loss of contact with your children.

Casa de Esperanza has staff who speak Spanish, Punjabi, Hmong, Hindi, and German as well as an advocate skilled in Sign Language.

All languages may not be available 24-hours a day.
Casa de Esperanza

P. O. Box 56
Yuba City, CA 95992
Crisis Line: (530) 674-2040

Business: (530) 674-5400

Colusa: 1-888-874-2040

Fax: (530) 674-3035

Email: cdeinfo@casadeesperanzasite.com

FAIR FIGHT RULES

Make an Appointment to Discuss the Problem:

"Fight" by mutual consent.
Agree upon a time, place, and duration for the discussion.
Remember-Respect is the key.

No Violence:

Do not call each other names, insult each other's families, or try to threaten or intimidate through displays of violence.

Use "I" Language:

Instead of using phrases like "You did this and you did that", use "I" phrases such as "I feel confused when you do this" or "I feel hurt because..."

Stick to the Present:

Do not bring up past mistakes.

Stick to the Subject:

Do not throw everything together at once.
Tackle one problem at a time.

Listen to Your Partner:

Let your partner know that you understand what they are saying to you.
Repeat what they say for clarification.
Let your partner know that you accept and respect their feelings

State Your Feelings:

Try to identify what you are feeling and explain to your partner how you feel.

Be Responsible and Honest:

Don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong.
Apologize when it is needed.
Remember - you are responsible for your own actions.